Prescription for Health

My "new" doctor prescribed dance 4 times a week. To me. To fight depression. So what is depression?

despair (anguish), sadness, gloominess, misery (wretchedness), hopelessness, melancholy, dejection...

Oh my goodness. This isn't me. This is a description of what's left after the creep eats my lunch. The devil steals my joy. The enemy wins the battle?

The joy and satisfaction I get from dancing... no one, not a single person on the planet, can take from me. I couldn't give it away if I tried....while dancing. At least clogging anyways.

4 Moons

Another great photo op....missed. 4 moons this morning. I'm sure its a first. Ever. In the whole world, at least THIS world.

From my bed, a reflection from a mirror that was leaning against the pile of various bricks, and glass blocks, and firewood, on the property where I wake up at everyday. (I love living here...did I say that?) ;)

First. 2 moons. Should have raced to grab my camera. It was out in the car. Then a short time later, 3, then...you guessed it...4! It was a sign. 4 full moons... DO. NOT. GET. OUT. OF. BED!!!

My dark chocolate Dove bar wrapper today read... Life does have "do-overs."

I sure hope so.

Photography makes the world go round...

I love taking pictures. And I love going back through all the pictures and remembering. Or not. (Remembering that is). Made a total copy of over 200 pics (taken in just under 8 hours) at the PTTP festival in San Francisco, so that my buddy could go through them and have copies she wanted for her and her friend. The file copy was so that they could delete what they did NOT want and "I" would make a copy of just a select few for them to do what they wanted with. Instead, they walk in with a cool little device I have always been afraid to trust with my documents, (the name of it which escapes my tired mind right now)... and we copy the whole dang file onto it. They take it home to go through it there. Took all the fun out of it...(them seeing my work and me hearing the feedback)... AND, for me to actually let go that easy was quite the little breakthrough. Nothing selfish about that.

My "work" is not perfected. Artists are like Doctors...practicing. Ok...so, you know what I'm trying to say. And I have no clue about "rights" and all that stuff. I know people steal stuff and call it their own. That's not to say anything might be worth feeling protective about, but I do anyways. Sorta.

I'm still in awe that one photo (above)...the Chihuly Boat...caught the attention of a woman who paints, and did a fantastic job with her piece, or my piece. Plans are in the making of putting a copy of the painting on a canvas for myself...just because.

I'll let ya know how that works out.

To Move or not to Move

A few reasons to move, and a few NOT to move. I'm anxious. My crap/clutter in my face. No time. The other place has a fire place. But it's in the boonies, AND you can hear the traffic. Here I cannot.

My cats. I'm sure they vote no. We finally LIKE it here. (only took them 2 years). AND they know to be silent when the raccoons have entered the house. Like for reals. I have no, rather few relationships I treasure in this town. It's damp. It's so close to the Ocean...(that's a plus btw).

Locked gate, private, another plus. Privacy. Most important these days. Away from other people's crap!

Big truck...no. Friends dying to help...no. Yard sale? Impossible. Weather. It will rain. That's a given.

Oh...and the potential new place, a real kitchen/bedroom/living room/bathtub/1/2 room for dance space slash desk slash photography work space.................rented. Since I would never move without giving 30 days notice to my current landlord I am out of the picture. They wouldn't wait. Their loss. And mine. So that settles that.

Probably one more winter/spring where I am.

Still going to start packing. I will miss these deer, and that's about it.

Just for now...

Let's just say I can't really get the hang of this bloggin thing. I would like to, but I have so much catching up to do, that most of my "blog ideas" live in my head. Like payin bills, and cleanin house, and exercising. (Ever watch one of those shows where she's sweatin doin areobics, and yer sittin on the couch thinkin, "I should put down this ice cream and do this"...tomorrow!!!) Procrastination-perfection I say.

Today. That's all I have for now...just today. I plan all the time for my tomorrows. Tomorrow I'll go to the gym, tomorrow I'll call that friend, tomorrow I'll write that note. Well, today...I finally got the car fixed. Tomorrow came, today! And now, tomorrow, I can drive it where ever I want...(if I have tomorrow).

Today I have to do laundry. And I have to pay bills. And tomorrow? Well, probably more of what I have to be gettin done today, cause I am still just talkin about it and not gettin it done!

Someone shared with me about almost needing a pacemaker today. Now THERE's something to worry about! All of a sudden my car issues seemed so little. So insignificant. I still was frettin the cost. But, I actually got done what had to be done "today", and the cost was for this repair was not quite as much as I had feared...and well, the rest will wait for tomorrow...(or next month...) Just for now, I can rest knowing the car won't flatline as I am getting on the freeway, or rushing to get to work on time, or in the middle of the intersection during rush hour, giving some freaks something to blow their horn at! Calm down people...you'll give yerself an ulcer!

I think the list is just a little lighter for having gotten "this car" worked on. I'll share about the "other car" another time. I feel just a little better having gotten it done on my own. (under statement right there...) That was part of the problem. I feared actually managing it on my own, with out some man-friend to give me suggestions or support, or actually do it for me! Just for now...today, is a good day.

Max and Movin

This is Max. We miss him. My son had him for 11 years. He was my only "granddog". This picture was taken during his last days. He is in a much better place now, chasing butterflies!

Bryan's found a new home, and will be there at the end of this month. Heck ya!

Movin on! Packin, sortin, cleanin. It is a very good thing. He'll not be in Santa Rosa anymore, and that part is hard. Moving on can be hard, but why? Because I hold on to the past? Yes. Not like a bad thing.

I enjoy the heck out of my 2 grown kiddos. They are the most awesome. We've had times we haven't seen each other for months, and times like right now where I get to hang with the guy for hours and hours at a time just brings me so much pleasure. Last night was spent in the pool with my daughter...another good time).

He's funny. After an amazing breakfast burrito I created, listening to some Blues, and later going for a coffee and an It'sIt. (Ice Cream Sandwich SF style). Dusted off some souveners while listening to Bob Marley, and then some heavy metal. I can only take that for just so long. A little rock and roll, and other mixes on itunes. We laughed silly to some crazy ass website that was R rated, and a comedian that was X rated.

We just mesh well, in my opinion. That is until I play "mom". Can't help it! It's the only thing I can say I did a damn good job at. Ok. The best job I knew how. And as a single parent most of their lives. If I'd have been THAT bad, I don't think I'd get to share in the wonderful experience of change. Even the psycho krazy kitty (that's him laxin on the chair...a lotta help he is!) is warming up to me cause I've been here so regular this past week or so.

Time to hit the garage. There's a shot of Carribean Rum there. Pakin's so much more fun when there's good stuff to drink! AND, I am bondin with my boy.

Less than a Month

Why? Because it's there. An opportunity. An opportunity that, if I remember, will not come again until July 2011. I heard no, but I jumped anyways. I'm talking about SoFoBoMo. Stands for Solo Photo Book Month. Hey, if they can use "Fo" for "Photo", then I can, well...the rules are to create a photo book with pics taken in 30 days...(or less in my case), well...because I just started, I have LESS than 30 days! A friend did this a year ago, and I just learned she is doin it again. There's no fee. There's no prize. There's just this huge blank canvas I get to go creative on!

Ideas. Theme. Subjects. Write, don't write. My creative juices have quit on me because it is nearly midnight. Ha. Midnight. What a great time to begin a new project! I will have exactly about (ya), 528 hours to put this together. So, in 22 days, @ 8 hours of sleep each day, (I wish!), I must subtract 176 hours. That leaves 352 hours. Dang. Wait. I have a job. Minus another 120 till the deadline. ("dead" line?...that I may blog about another time). I'm down to 232 hours. Does this remind you of budgeting? Only backwards?

Please. I beg you. Do NOT check my math! (Where are the John Pezzi's when you need them? Taught me how to love analyticals. RIP JP)

Ok...then there's like the need to eat, primp, travel time to/from the j.o.b., laundry,...(I used to love doing laundry, and I just don't anymore), clean out the cat box, Tommy Castro,

HEY! PRIORITIES!!! (no...I did not list house cleaning........On PURPOSE!)

...so that's like um...another - say - possibly - 100 hours? Pretty low guesstamation. Can't forget dance time! Clog Dancing is my most favorite addiction. There's only one other thing I do better...(said that for fun!) Keep on track. 10 minutes till Midnight...

Where was I? A Hundred and Thirty Two Hours?

Piece-a-Chocolate-Cake!

The time: Later

Sort of like a journal...a diary. I never did succeed much in that. I would pick it up and write again, months and months after the last entry. How the heck is this like my life? (No need to answer that!)

Speaking of later. I just got this photo of Babs and I and Charlie. The date: 7/2009. Well, you know what they say. Better late than _____? ~~~THAT's WHAT I SAY!!! ~~~ (those who may have been at my "Free Indeed" training know that following a statement like that may be some very v e r y verrrrrrrrrrrry long conversations!)

So here it is. Thank you M and K for encouraging me to go again, and of course using your loving touch of "guilt".

I wish this thing had spell check!

This was a really fun concert. Charlie Daniels band. You should have seen me clog dancing!

My backyard, My frontyard

This isn't the best shot of one of my deer that come to visit me. But I had to share it. I really love where I am living. I just don't really love my house. If I could build on this property, I would be the happiest gal on the planet. If I could only be a little further inland, and experience less fog, although ya'all sometimes are in the fog and I am above it! Now that's pretty awesome.

Every night as I come home, and the gate opens, I look for the deer. Last year we had twins, the cutest you ever saw. So tiny in that big open field. They don't come as close to the house as the larger deer, and I have a nice pic of Annie, my tabby, sitting on a log right near one, and neither seem to mind. It just gives my heart so much joy. This little piece of heaven was truly a God Send. A place to find shelter from life's storms, natural and man-made. My personal refuge.

I leave here everyday to go into Santa Rosa and work a full time job. What I wouldn't do to change that. This is another stepping stone to get myself out there and make that all happen. It's been a year of tears and sorrow, and now is a time for hope and grattitude. I expect I will write much about that through pictures that I hope you will enjoy as much as I enjoy having been able to take them. Not many of my mug, as I am more comfortable on this side of the camera.

OH, and the Bobcat? Yes...this was taken, by me, in my yard. Now, How cool is THAT I tell you? Mo later...

Brand New to Blogging

Um...why is it even called blogging? I'll think on this and get back.